There were 75 boys, all under 10, running around the AstroTurf
field in the pouring rain, as the parents stood on the sidelines, huddled under
umbrellas. The rain created puddles that were strategically placed on the
sidelines forcing the parents to clump together, while trying to watch the
plays, some even going so far as to coach their sons.
Eventually the sun came out but neither the heat nor the cold
affected the boys, they were just trying to make the rec council travel team.
How many travel teams would there be? How
many boys actually make it? Who's coming back from last season?
These were the mumbled questions every parent asked, hoping that
someone was in the know. When we returned the following night, the sun already
out, the questions continued. At the end of the tryout, call backs were
announced. No one said who would get them, just that they were needed.
Then the waiting began. Two weeks went by, and we got the call.
Once again I loaded the boys into the car and we played on the indoor field.
Twenty boys at a time. It was like watching a life size pinball machine with
four foot bumpers moving around the filed as the ball bounced wildly, occasionally
ending up in the goal.
But we were hopeful.
A third team was added, we heard. The numbers added up. 75 boys
started out for 36 spots. Two groups were asked back to the indoor field which
makes 40. Only four would be cut. Certainly we were in that group.
One week later the email came that we did not make the team, no
details given.
My son's disappointment lasted about one day. Everyone was talking
about the process. It wasn't fair. It didn't give people a chance. It was
biased.
Maybe all these claims were true. How could it not be biased?
These were rec travel tryouts, not the junior Olympic team. The evaluators were
regular volunteers, like me. How exactly were they supposed to pick? What
really separates one player from another at this age?
I still don't know the answer to that question, so I look at the
big picture. How is this going to affect my sons, or more specifically, how can
I make them understand that this is life and we just keep rolling. Maybe it's
for the better, maybe not. Move on.
So we did exactly what we had done in previous years and registered
for the in-house league.
That brings me to this past weekend. My son scored five goals. It
was one of those proud parent moments we all look forward to.
He achieved success this weekend. He pushed himself past his
opponents in the spirit of competition. He learned about his own fortitude and
connected with his talents. He saw his hard work pay off and he enjoyed
himself, smiling the whole time he was on the field.
There is nothing wrong with a more competitive team. I am sure there are many great advantages the travel team for the right kid, but is that my kid?
They will
most definitely play at a higher level. My wife and I even contemplated trying
out for other travel teams outside of our area, and we asked ourselves what we
were trying to accomplish; why were we so anxious to play in a different
league?
I don't know if my son is an “elite athlete”, I know that I never
was, so the odds are against it. I know that he enjoys sports and I don't think
he'd enjoy it more if he were on a "better" team. Maybe we are just
an in-house rec type of family.
Our family culture, the one we created, is not terribly
competitive. We don’t spend a lot of time talking about sports and we don’t put
the time in that many families do that have more competitive children.
In order for our boys to compete at the level that we see some of
our friends do, we would need to participate in clinics and camps that are
focused on building skills. It would require a stronger commitment from both
the boys and us for time and money. Many kids play one sport year round, while
still participating in other sports. It’s not uncommon to play two sports in a
day, and with that comes many practices. While the boys may be alright with
that pace, my wife and I would have trouble keeping up.
The mere thought of that type of schedule is overwhelming.
At some point the boys will have the chance to make decisions
about where they want to spend the bulk of their free time. If they decide to
commit to sports that would be fine.
They seem to understand that it will take hard work to remain
competitive through their school years. They already see how some kids define
themselves by their sport, which is great, but my boys don’t seem to have that
specific focus right now. While that may be a reflection of my own bias, it
doesn’t seem to have discouraged them from pushing themselves, as I witnessed
last weekend when my son scored five goals (did I already mention that?!).
Right now, my wife and I are happy with the status of sports, and where
the boys have ended up. In the future that may change, but it feels like a
natural progression from the culture we have established at home.
We will continue to try and give our sons opportunities, but for
now we are an In-House Rec type family.